Extract Labs accountant, Dakota Eitzen stuck in a worm hole

Dakota Eitzen: An Accountant with Hoop Dreams

3 minute read

Dakota Eitzen has the thankless job of crunching numbers and performing tasks hardly anyone else is even aware of, like, tracking down unprepared new hires’ social security cards to abide by federal guidelines. The Fairview, Oklahoma transplant joined Extract Labs at an untimely momentthe start of the pandemicwhen the rest of the world was facing layoffs. 

“I saw that Extract Labs was looking for a bookkeeper, and I thought I had struck gold,” he says. “Not only were they hiring when other companies were downsizing, but I was also familiar with Extract Labs through my previous work, and I actively used the muscle cream.”

True to what one would hope for in an accountant, Dakota spends most days ensuring the business finances are properly, well… accounted for.  He’s also been a cannabis user and advocate for its medical potential for some time now. “Using my business savvy to advance a brand with the same vision is a dream come true,” he says.

Dakota having some thrills

But the Oklahoma State accounting grad got his start far away from an Excel spreadsheet. “Having come from a farming family in a rural community, I spent several summers harvesting wheat,” he says. During college, he was a fundraiser for the university during the school year and did metal construction over the summers. 

Construction work did not nurture the finesse required for Dakota’s routine Kobe attempts. Each day at the office, he crunches up his empty lunch remains in a tightly compacted ball, steps up to an imaginary 3 point line, boldly announces something about how there won’t be anything but net, then invariably throws up a brick that requires cleaning both the wall and floor afterwards. 

To his credit, he’s never too far off with his proclamation given there never IS any net—just wall, floor, and occasionally the wrong bin that requires a humbling dumpster-dive in order to re-sort the comingled mess. Suffice it to say, he’s no Kobe. No Obama. In fact, he probably wouldn’t stand up to any randomly selected co-worker for sinking lunch bag J’s. This, along with his invaluable skill set and work ethic reaffirm the notion that Dakota is going to be keeping his day job for the time being.  For this, we are grateful.

Dakota, a ref on the field during the deflate-gate scandal

Q&A With Dakota

Q: What is your favorite Extract Labs product?
A:
Muscle Cream is a must-have for a guy that is constantly trying to convince himself he is an athlete.

Q: Name a book you’ve read that had a major impact on you.
A: It’s strange, but when I read the Steve Jobs biography by Walter Isaacson, I found myself drawing a lot of comparisons to Steve, especially in the way he approached work. He demanded a lot of himself and others, and the book details how he was perceived by those affected by him. That book was really insightful to me in that way.

Q: What’s the best thing you’ve ever watched on Netflix?
A: That’s tough. I think The Office is probably at the top of my list of favorite shows though.

Q: What advice would you give to someone looking to start working in the hemp industry?
A: Be prepared to learn, and never settle for less than best. It’s an evolving industry, so education never really stops.

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